unfortunately if you are an old friend of mine i will always care about you no matter what even if we haven’t seen each other in forever because i still remember what you were like 7 years ago and i still remember how it felt to be young with you and i still have a lot of love for you in the back of my mind
some people have such big egos and are such hypocrites and have such a need to be right that nothing else matters but proving a point and it’s so sad to me
it really is just one of the shittiest feelings to spend the majority of your entire life giving everything to people, wether it’s time, money, effort whatever, and to be just ignored and discarded and made to feel like less than. and then to have your feelings of hurt be disregarded, ignored, made to feel like you’re wrong etc. over and over and over by literally everyone in your life
like?? wtf is wrong with me lol. i tried to be a good friend/family to people for years and make birthdays and holidays special, plan events, reach out, and get ignored, and made fun of, and told you’re not funny and whatever the hell else and then be told over and over they reached out to someone else about you so they care. it’s like a karmic joke from the universe that the same hurts i experience with certain people get repeated by people that don’t even know of the others existence
i’ve always had to take care of myself and i’ve never had anyone else to rely on to make sure i’m gonna survive and it is what it is but i’m just tired of putting so much into people that literally don’t care if they never speak to me again and it’s a hurtful thing to just know that no one else will make the efforts you give back to you
you can give everything to people for years and years and they’ll just drop you and ignore you and treat you like a random acquaintance and that’s insane to me but i just don’t have it in me to care anymore
